Record label: Headwrecker Distribution
How would sir like his crust served?
Well, today we have Soro. In the best traditions of crust it is slow and heavy with a soupcon of death-metal in the vocals. It is a large portion (9 or 10 minutes each), unfortunately the chef seems to have rushed the production a little as it leaves somewhat to be desired. Something else maybe?
We also have Spectra Hawk, a fusion dish of hardcore and traditional heavy metal, sir. With screaming guitars solos in some places and in others rapid passages that will evoke Trainwreck or Dance Macabre sir.
However, our special today is Hello Bastards. It is unremittingly fast paced, with screaming thundering vocals that will not give sir chance to catch his breath before they have crashed in and out of sir’s ears. I believe the chef achieved the effect by putting amphetamine in Tragedy’s luncheon last week.
Vegan, sir? Do not concern yourself. All of tonight’s offering come courtesy of the Pogo Café in London, sir. And a strong political and vegan aroma is present in all the offerings, including exerts from George Carlin and comments on the murder of Jean Charles de Menezes.
All three sir? An excellent choice and we look forward to seeing you at this ridiculous excuse for a review again soon.