Beat Motel is an insane mash of humour, punk rock, lists and other bits and pieces Andrew and his friends put together. Its an essential read. Andrew became our second zine reviews interviewee for issue 16.
What’s your first memory?
For years I thought my first memory was visiting my sister in hospital when she was born, this would have meant my first memory was brewed up aged just two and half years old. My dad drove me to the hospital and I remember seeing what I thought were circus tents. I don’t remember being inside the hospital but I do remember going to my godparents house afterwards to break the news to them, they weren’t there so me and my dad let ourselves in and ate Cadburys Crème Eggs. Security was a little loser back then. When my sister got home from hospital she gave me a Tonka truck, which was pretty clever for a week old shrivelled red prune. Speaking to my mum and dad a few weeks ago it turns out I never did go and visit my sister in hospital so this first memory would appear to be totally false, unless of course my parents have already started their journey to that special dream filled world we harshly call senility. If visiting my sis in hospital wasn’t in fact my first memory then I’m fairly sure what is, and my mum confirmed it recently.
Why do you write fanzines?
Originally it was because the zine I spent most of the time dragging down to my base level of humour and the one place where I was exercising what I like to call ‘creative spelling’ (Real Overdose) kinda dropped out of existence. I continue to write Beat Motel because I’m a stubborn fuck who is determined to make people listen (or read?!?) my ramblings. That’s not 100% true, but close. In fact I think more than anything else I write a zine to make people laugh. Whilst I aim my zine at people outside the traditional punk scene the biggest kick I get is being a part of it. I think it’s important that zines are welcome and opening, nothing is going to put people off reading about punk rock lives more than a bunch of cliquey little fucks with shit hair sharing nothing but in-jokes and sneering at anyone who doesn’t share identical music tastes to them. That’s also why I fucken love it when Beat Motel gets bad reviews in such places.
What are your top five zines?
My all time top favourite zine was definitely Real Overdose, it was utterly brilliant and if you are ever lucky to find a copy anywhere you are in for a real treat. Apart from the bits what I wrote anyhew. Gadgie would probably be next just for the humour, and for inspiring me to write about my youth. I dearly love Mogenmuffel like a tight hug after a long time on the road away from my wife. There’s a fantastic zine called ‘The Snailwell Gazette’ put out by a family of Americans that live near me, each issue is a sort of letter home to their families back in the USA and they write with such warmth and love for their surroundings it’s beautiful. They also have a podcast that’s well worth checking out. It’s really hard to pin down my favourites any more than that, the great thing about writing and trading zines is that it ensures a steady supply of new stuff to get excited about.
Photocopying or getting printed?
Personally I choose printed because the folk at FootPrinters are just so damn tolerant of me! I’m also very fortunate in that I am self employed and so can write off the printing as a tax loss, kinda. When I first started Beat Motel I tried to print it myself on a wee laser printer. Word to the wise though, that’s a shit idea.
Illustrations or photos?
If I had the skill then Illustrations, photos can be a bit of a let down even with a good print process like the FootPrinters one, you have to compromise a lot on brightness and contrast. If Beat Motel was printed like Last Hours then there would be a lot more photos. It seems like every fucker wants to be a photographer these days, doncha think?
What do you enjoy doing most?
Fucking, I mean tenderly expressing my feelings to Emma Culture using my soul in conjunction with the parts of my body that are close enough to my brain to do what they are told and respond in some sort of timely fashion, closely followed by making very loud noises. A great night in would be combining the two but I live in a terrace house with thin walls and I don’t think my wife would appreciate sharing the bed with a 350watt Trace Elliot Bass Stack, or for that matter my band mates.
If you could go back anywhere in time where would you go and why?
Medieval England, everyone has their own bit of land, grows their own food, brews their own beer and it’s pretty much left alone by the state. Plus those smocks they wear look mighty comfy.
How would you like to be remembered?
With a smile.
Tell us a joke.
Independent American Records Labels (nicked off Mark E Smith)