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Blue lights and sirens

August 27th, 2009 · post by An EMD · 1 Comment

For better or worse, this is gonna be a blog centred around my job. It’s probably something you’ve given little or no thought to even though even though it’s a cog in the workings of what keeps this society running (‘you bastard!’ I hear you cry, hold your horses, I mean that in a good way).

I work 12 hour shifts day and night for mediocre pay, constantly at the forefront of an irate public who blame me for their own stupidity and laziness without congratulations, much respect or encouragement; forever trying to balance the practicalities of deciding who gets potentially life saving treatment with the mountains of bureaucracy and red-tape put in place to cover over peoples’ arses. I am an EMD. I organise and dispatch ambulances.

You call an ambulance it’s gonna be me or a co-worker to whom you speak. Through this blog I hope to open your eyes to the quantity of red-tape clogging up the NHS; the number of people doing vital jobs behind the scenes ,whose judgments save lives and who will never appear on TV or in a film; the bizarre and terrifying behaviour of Joe public (and hopefully a laugh at their amazing stupidity); and not to get arrested for breaking confidentiality and privacy laws. To that final end I will never mention names or address of those whose stupidity I chose to highlight and any similarity to the story of your next-door-neighbour/distant relation is a pure coincidence. No doubt friends and acquaintances will be able to pin it on me, but hopefully no-one in a position to kick my ass will be able to attribute it to me.

Having said that…

A little background info. I live and work in London, I’ve only been doing the job for a few months; before that I’d never worked with a computer or phone before and always for the private sector, making money for de man. I intend to do this for the next year or so before I do a masters in something infinitely more interesting. Because of the bizarre and esoteric shift patterns I have to work (including Xmas day night and New Years day this year) I often miss out on friends birthday’s, gigs, festivals and other such good times people who work 9-5 get to enjoy, as every fucking thing is organised for the weekend. On the plus side every 5 weeks I get 7 days off on-the-trot and I feel less like a member of the rat race than most. I also get to (I try not to) laugh at people who ‘slipped and fell on my mobile and now its stuck up my arse’, names like Susan Lickfold, the person who got his penis partially severed by his zipper and the man who hurt his back slipping on a banana skin. However, the main benefit is feeling like I’m doing something of social worth and not working my arse off just to make money for some dick.

My only real quandary is how I’m gonna keep a blog interesting that is based on 99% repetition. We shall see…

→ 1 CommentThis entry belongs to the following categories: Blogs · Blue lights and sirens

1 response so far

  • bennyboy posted:
    Aug 31, 2009 at 8:43 pm. Comment #1

    haha, this sounds like it’s got potential.


An Emergency Medical DispatcherName: An emergency medical dispatcher
Bio: I organise and dispatch ambulances. This is my blog about the phone calls I receive, the bureaucracy of working for the NHS and complaints about the weird hours I have to work.

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